... I keep it in the freezer. Me? Outgoing, laid back, heavily medicated. I used to be a transgender Bulgarian weightlifter but something went wrong with the surgery. (The compensation didn't cover decent facial reconstruction, so I have to hold this mask in front of my face. Serves me right for using Michael Jackson's surgeon.) Personally, I like all the usual stuff (car boot sales, garden gnomes and invertebrates). We could chat, then meet, but I suggest we do speed dating because if you don't like me (and trust me, you probably won't) at least there will be 19 other blokes available to talk to. I'm considerate like that. My only problem is that I find it hard to say no to people, which causes a problem when I am asked if I am an organ donor. If anyone has a spare kidney, please could they let me know. Thanks. Oh, and my middle name is "Tosh".
Now, let's think about our first date ... secret to be shared, of course.( No threesomes on the first date, though. And it's got be somewhere nicer than a car park.) I have actually had one date from Adult FriendFinder. It was with a lollypop lady. I can never resist a woman in a uniform .... Are you taking this all seriously? Then read on ....
My Ideal Person:
Woman who likes to laugh in bed when appropriate. When inappropriate, that would probably be humiliating for me. But if you're paying, that's OK. If you're not ..... let's just have fun  Other stuff I look for .... people who are generous to children ! Seeing my son's face light up when I buy him a scratch card is such a pleasure. I hope you can see that joy in children too. And someone who shares my interests (see above). Lastly, someone who understands what Hallmark Moments are and why they are so special. I do, and here is my entry to the Hallmark Christmas Competition in 2005, Category: "Congratulations on your pregnancy!"
"Your daughter's pregnant, so what's new?
The other was at 15 too.
Now you know just what to say:
Take this screaming brat away."
Hallmark moment. It didn't win, but I did get some interesting feedback from their solicitors regarding my offer to promote the beauty of Hallmark with a website dedicated to their sublime offerings.
And that is just about it. I'm young single, and have the body of Brad Pitt. (oh, done that one, except don't tell Angelina because she's bloody furious that I won't tell her where it's buried. Or what Jennifer did to him. But I think he had it coming to him for letting Angelina talk to Jen on the phone on the set of "Mr and Mrs Smith"- she said "Haggo Gen, I'm wig Grad atg ga mogent ag I'g gor my mou fooooool". Sick and wrong.) Hey, shouldn't that go in the celebrity fantasy section? Oh well.
Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
It involves the sea, a plane crash, a remote island and my
partner "Wilson". Together on this lonely
atoll we survive, alone, for 4 years, until finally I make
a raft and we are rescued, and I can deliver that Fed-Ex parcel
I saved to it's addressee. Just one thing. Why did it
have to contain a gaddamned inflatable dinghy?
What location do you fantasize about for a sexual encounter?:
I
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Foreplay, Flirting with my partner!
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
|
96,371 Members Online NOW!
